My Albatross

Vinnie The Creep

December 2nd, 2011

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I love how laughter can brighten some lucky person’s day. My day would be better if someone would silently eliminate everbody who says, “That’s what she said.” That is one of the most misused phrases of our generation. You normally hear this diarrhea coming from Abecrombie and Gap Eagle tools, usually destroying precious moments for regular folks… who don’t have time to participate in facebookery and douchebaggery. I might have been lucky enough to hear it used right once, maybe twice. You have a better chance of hitting the lottery then using that phrase appropriately. If you have the urge to blurt something dumb out, say farts or duhhh and save face with your peers. 

That gem doesn’t shine alone. That’s what she said is just one of many weapons in a huge arsenal for millions of people who need to shut their mouths and think before they speak. Lying in the shadows not far from your ear drums lurks Git-R-Done and It is what it is. Git-R-Done is similiar to professional wrestling and Nascar and the Republican Party in the aspect that if you like one, chances are you like all four. The other aspect of their similarity is that they all suck. Its not because I don’t happen to find those things entertaining… its because they suck.

It is what it is… I have heard this more and more in the last five years or so. You normally hear this coming from people who have no right giving anyone advice. And… if this is the best advice you could give someone really looking for guidance maybe you should just consult a magic eight ball instead. When I hear it, it always raises questions to me. I always wonder, what is it? Why does my body feel paralyzed? Why are these guys putting lipstick on me? It is just a stupid thing to say when something goes wrong. “Fuck it” might be a better expression for the person who can’t hold back.

I am no authority on the proper way to conduct conversation or give advice. Most would tell you I am “rough around the edges” or “offensive.” Or they might say, “Hey, get away from my kids!” But, don’t be mistaken, there is a difference between offensive and retarded. I know which one I would rather be guilty of.

It should be illegal to punish men who are caught with transvestian prostitutes. Isn’t that punishment enough? Especially if when you catch them in the act, the victim has that look of shame and rejection on his face. I don’t even bother saying her in this scenario… a woman isn’t filthy and desperate enough to be caught with a tranny unless the setting is at the “alternative lifestyle” club on girl’s night out. Anyway, that is a sweet sight for any adventurer who might stumble upon such a treasure. Beware though, it is as rare as haley’s comet to see and as dangerous as the sun to watch. You have to interrupt the process too in order to see the repulsion. I myself have never been fortunate enough to encounter this, this is only my mental interpretation of what it might be like.

Sweet dreams dear reader. Just some food for thought… Oh, wait… the fat asses are back. Food for thought? What will we think of next?


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